Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she told me i tasted like america
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
