You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
