okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
