You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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