we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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