He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
