you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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