Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
