shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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