It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
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it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize