Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
