I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
