I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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