Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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