where am i from again
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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