I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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