What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
