Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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