i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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