All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
