girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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