I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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