I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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