so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going