can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
25 People Confess The Sex Acts They Were Super Ashamed Of
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town