goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.