do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER