You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
