There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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