How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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