What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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