hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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