I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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