Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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