I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize