I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
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My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
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New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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