I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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