Quick, to the slutcave!
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
