I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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