Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
The ass gains better be worth it
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