Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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