Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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