the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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