Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
where does the pee come out of this thing
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
