I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I understand Curling. That high.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
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