I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome