I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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