Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
