dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think my tv is drunk
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.