About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name