whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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