Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
