The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
