dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
