So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
