it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
false alarm. still invincible.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
