Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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