She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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