sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
