naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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